ACTIVITY'1'
Narrative'Essay!
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1. Hook'
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2. Background'
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3. Thesis'Sentence'
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4. Situation'
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5. Rising'Action'
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6. Climax'
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7. Conclusion'
Narrative'Essay'Organization'
INTRODUCT IO N'
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Hook'
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Narrative'Essay'O rganization:''My'First'Japanese'Pastry'
R')'4)'15!
1'
INTRO'
Hook'
• Japan'is'known 'as'“La nd 'of'the'R ising'Sun .”'
Background'
• I'always't h o ug h t'J ap a n 'was'an'e xo tic 'c o u n try 'with'
interest in g'c u s to ms.'I'alwa y s 'wanted't o 'go 't o 'Ja p a n.'
Thesis'
• Eating'a'pastry'taught'me'an'important'lesson.'
2'
BODY'
Situation'
• Getting'off'the'airplane,'and'walking'the'streets'of'Tokyo,'
Japan'was've ry'ex citing,'bu t'it'also'felt'the'sam e 'as'ho m e .'
3'
Rising'Action'
• I'was'hu n g ry 'an d 'I'wanted 'so mething 'ch e a p'and 'delicious'
• I'found'a 'b a ke r y.'
• I'saw'a'str a w b e r ry 'ja m'pastry'lik e 'b ac k 'h o me.'
Climax'
• I'bit'into'the 'p a st ry 'a nd 'was'surp ris e d 'to 'fin d 'it'was'not'
strawberry'jam.'
4'
CONCLUSION'
• I'began'to 'lik e 's w e e t'b e a n 'p a ste .'
• I'learn e d 'th a t'many'th in g s 'in 'Ja p a n 'lo o k 'th e'same'as'in'
the'U.K.,'but'they'ar e'tru ly'Japa ne se,'an d'w e 'shou ld'
appreciate'them.'
• Now,'travelling'is'more'enjoyable.'
Matthew!Barbee,!2016!
B!
ACTIVITY'2'
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'Reading'a'Student'Essay'
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My First Foreign Friend
My first foreign friend broke my heart. However, before I could have a foreign friend, I needed to
travel aboard first. I have always wanted to go abroad and make friends around the world. Last winter, I
was able to study abroad for four weeks in Toronto. While I was studying in Toronto, I met a Canadian
girl named Jem. She told me that she wanted to make Japanese friends, so I was happy to talk to her. I
was also happy to talk to her because she is so beautiful. Jem is half white and half Filipino, and I had
never seen anyone like her before. It is safe to say that I fell in love with her at first sight, but not
everything is meant to be. (115)
In the beginning of our friendship, I was able to meet Jem often because we were language
exchange partners. Jem helped me study English, and I helped her study Japanese. Gradually we became
more and more friendly, so I invited her to go out to eat dinner with me. We went to a restaurant with her
friends who also study Japanese. I talked a lot with her and her friends in English, and we ate katsudon. It
is very delicious. Having dinner together made me very happy, and I think that my language skill
improved. (100)
One day, I went to watch an American football game with my Kwansei Gakuin friends. At the
game, I saw Jem with another student. I said hello, and I asked about her friend. She said “He is my
boyfriend.” That is, she had a boyfriend. I was surprised, and I was disappointed in love. Furthermore,
her boyfriend was also Japanese and was studying abroad like me. I was sad because of that unbelievable
fact. At that moment, I thought that my experience in other country was sad. (95)
At last, the day I went back to Japan, I heard from Jem by email. In her email, she wrote, “thank
you for being my friend. I want to meet you and speak in Japanese when I go to Japan this summer.’’ Her
email really made me smile. I forgot about my feelings at the football game and remembered all the great
times I had in Toronto. Overall, I learned that life is made up of good and bad memories, but it is most
important to remember the good ones. (90)
Total Words:
400
Matthew!Barbee,!2016!
U!
ACTIVITY'3'
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'Writing'a'Great'Hook'
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hooks.!The!essay!topic!is!“Japanese!pizza.”!
Hooks
Examples
Write your own:
Shocking'
statement
I love pizza more than
my family.
Interesting'
Fact
Pizza was first
invented in Italy, but
modern pizza has
changed a lot.
Statistic
The average American
eats 27 pizzas a year.
Question
What is your favorite
food in the world?
Mine is pizza.
Quote
Einstein once said,
“Pizza is the most
perfect food.”
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I cannot live without pizza. If I go very long without eating a hot delicious slice of
pizza, I become sick. When I lived in the United States, I ate a whole pizza every week.
But when I started living in Japan, I forgot about eating pizza. I was happy eating
delicious Japanese foods at first, but I eventually began to crave a hot slice of bread,
sauce, and cheese. After living in Japan for six months, I ordered Japanese pizza for the
first time.
Matthew!Barbee,!2016!
V!
ACTIVITY'4'
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'Reading'a'Student'Essay'
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My First Time Cooking
When I was ten years old, I almost died in the kitchen. One day, I was the only one home because
my parents went to an elementary school to teach, and my big sister was staying at her friend’s house. I
was bored, and I played video games a whole lot. In the early evening, I became hungry, but there was
nothing to eat. I looked in our refrigerator, but there was only some vegetables and medium spicy curry
roux. When I saw that, I thought, “my mother can make curry easily, so I can make curry, too.” I decided
to make curry by myself, but it would be dangerous because I had never cooked anything until then. (115)
At first, I started to cook some rice. Second, I cut onions, but I couldn’t stop crying for 20
minutes. After I stopped crying, I cut carrots. I did well partway, but I cut my middle finger because I
didn’t fold my fingers away from the knife. I felt foolish. I almost gave up, but I continued to cook. Next,
I peeled potatoes with a peeler. I thought it was safe, but I was wrong. My nail was skinned a little by the
peeler. After the vegetables, I prepared a deep pot and started to fry vegetables and chicken. However,
another problem happened. Before I fried them, I forgot to grease the bottom of the pot and it burned. I
moved them from the burned pot to another one, and I started to fry them again. There were a lot of
problems, but I completed making curry at last. (150)
After I made curry, I looked at my hand, and it was all cut up. There was some adhesive tape on
it, but my heart was full of accomplishment. When I ate MY curry, it was very tasty. Later, when my
mother got home, she ate my curry and said, “this is so delicious.” She looked so happy, and I was so
happy, too. After that, my father came back home, and he ate my curry, too. He was surprised that I had
made curry by myself. My parents were happy, so I wanted to cook again. (95)
These days, I often cook curry and rice by myself. Now that I know how to make it properly, I
have become much better at it. I think it is good for us to try new things. Even if if we are not perfect at
first, we can become better and better. As they say, “practice makes perfect.” In conclusion, while my first
time cooking was terrible, it became an invaluable memory that I will never forget. (75)
Total Words:
435
Matthew!Barbee,!2016!
[!
ACTIVITY' 5'
ACTIVITY' 6'
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Narrative'Essay'Planner''
R')'4)'15!
1'
INTRO'
Hook'
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Background'
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Thesis'
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2'
BODY'
Situation'
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3'
Rising'
Action'
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Climax'
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4'
CONCLUSION'
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PEER'EDITING'
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10. Grammar*and*Spelling.*Work*in*a*group*to*check*the*essay*for*mistakes.**Underline*and*add*a*correction*
symbol*if*you*find*any*mistakes.*Write*a*question*mark*(?)*if*you*don’t*understand*something.*
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Typing'Guide'
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All'Margins:!Bf88 !
Font:!;08$&!C$<!N(8'37!@A!1(03#!
Heading:!;(1!N045#+!!,3/%- .$!3'8$7!&#-.$3#!,g!3-86$)7!/%'&&!3'8$h3-86$)h#$'/5$)7!.'#$!
Title:!E$3#$)$.7!Bold.'H&$!#0#%$!&#*%$!/'10#'%0^'#0(3+!
Line'Style:!i&&'*!8-&#!6$!g]HZMijORiEig!=行間D!A+f?+!!Use*formatting*icon,*do*not*hit*return*between*lines.!
Indent:!!H&$!L#'6P!G$*+!;5$!90)&#!%03$!(9!$'/5!1')'4)'15!8-&#!6$!03.$3#$.+!
Word'Count:!"#!#5$!$3.!(9!#5$!1'1$)+!
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C'8$D!YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!O,gkD!YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!E%'&&D!YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! !!!!!!!!O/()$D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hVf!
L Below Expectations L
K Satisfactory K
J Excellent J
'''''''''''''0' '''''''''1' ' ''''''''''''''''2' ''' '''3' ' ''''''''4' '''''''''''''''''''5
Hook
o Missing hook
o Hook is present
o Hook captures the reader’s
attention well
Thesis
statement
o Missing thesis
o Present but does not effectively
introduce the contents of the essay
o Introduces the essay effectively
Introduction
(para 1)
o Few examples/details
o Contains information not
connected to the background
o Some examples/details
o Background info is present
o Many thorough and clear details
o Background info well prepares
the reader for the story
Rising Action
(para 2)
o Paragraph does not describe the
rising action well
o Describes the rising action
o Introduces the climax too early
o Describes rising action with
many details and leads into the
climax
Climax
(para 3)
o No climax present
o Climax is present
o Climax is clear and effective
with many details
Conclusion
o Concluding sentences missing
o Short and not appropriate
o Concluding sentences rephrases
the thesis statement
o Missing information
o Concluding sentences tell what
the writer learned from this
experience
Grammar and
Spelling
o Many grammar and spelling
mistakes that make it difficult to
understand the paragraph
o Some mistakes, but they don’t
impact the ability to understand
the paragraph
o Few mistakes in grammar,
spelling, and punctuation
Clarity and
Organization
o There are several problems with
understanding and clarity
o Ideas are not well organized
o Few transition words
o There are some problems with
understanding but overall the
meaning is clear
o Some transition words
o Transition words are present, but
not all specific or varied
o High level of fluency and clarity
o Natural and expressive English
o Good organization and varied
transitions words
Paragraph
style
o Writing is cut into many smaller paragraphs
o No indenting first line of paragraphs
o Missing title or heading information
o Typing guide not followed
o Writing is contained within 4 paragraphs
o Paragraphs are indented
o Appropriate title
o Typing Guide followed
Word count
o Less than 350 words total
o Total words: 350-400
o Total words: 400-450
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C'8$D!YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!O,gkD!YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!E%'&&D!YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! !!!!!!!!O/()$D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hVf!
L Below Expectations L
K Satisfactory K
J Excellent J
'''''''''''''0' '''''''''1' ' ''''''''''''''''2' ''' '''3' ' ''''''''4' '''''''''''''''''''5
Hook
o Missing hook
o Hook is present
o Hook captures the reader’s
attention well
Thesis
statement
o Missing thesis
o Present but does not effectively
introduce the contents of the essay
o Introduces the essay effectively
Introduction
(para 1)
o Few examples/details
o Contains information not
connected to the background
o Some examples/details
o Background info is present
o Many thorough and clear details
o Background info well prepares
the reader for the story
Rising Action
(para 2)
o Paragraph does not describe the
rising action well
o Describes the rising action
o Introduces the climax too early
o Describes rising action with
many details and leads into the
climax
Climax
(para 3)
o No climax present
o Climax is present
o Climax is clear and effective
with many details
Conclusion
o Concluding sentences missing
o Short and not appropriate
o Concluding sentences rephrases
the thesis statement
o Missing information
o Concluding sentences tell what
the writer learned from this
experience
Grammar and
Spelling
o Many grammar and spelling
mistakes that make it difficult to
understand the paragraph
o Some mistakes, but they don’t
impact the ability to understand
the paragraph
o Few mistakes in grammar,
spelling, and punctuation
Clarity and
Organization
o There are several problems with
understanding and clarity
o Ideas are not well organized
o Few transition words
o There are some problems with
understanding but overall the
meaning is clear
o Some transition words
o Transition words are present, but
not all specific or varied
o High level of fluency and clarity
o Natural and expressive English
o Good organization and varied
transitions words
Paragraph
style
o Writing is cut into many smaller paragraphs
o No indenting first line of paragraphs
o Missing title or heading information
o Typing guide not followed
o Writing is contained within 4 paragraphs
o Paragraphs are indented
o Appropriate title
o Typing Guide followed
Word count
o Less than 350 words total
o Total words: 350-400
o Total words: 400-450
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